33 replies to this topic

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Nuff said.

[Widgeonus]

Trust me, it gets better.

Nuff said. 😉

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You made me smile!   Thank you!

[hannibellemo]

I don't know if I experienced depression on Gleevec but I did experience anxiety. Although since I already had a mild anxiety disorder it's hard to say which came first. I just remember reading that anxiety could be a potential side effect.

 

To show the power of "where our thoughts go, our energy flows", I woke up one night feeling particularly anxious and asking myself why that might be. I thought, "Oh yeah, Gleevec may cause anxiety". I fell back asleep and slept like a baby the rest of the night. Evidently, all I needed to know was why. 

[Billie Murawski]

Hi MDJ,

  I wish I had some great words of wisdom to make you feel better, right now you're trying to cope with the worst thing that has happened to you in your life.The fear and anxiety can be overwhelming, and taking a med that makes you sicker than a dog right now and has all kinds of crazy side-effects seems like it's more than you can deal with. I feel like depression is also part of the dx. Trust us you will feel better geeze look at what your mind and body are going through right now, try to get lots of rest and don't worry about that strange feeling you get once in a while (whether it's pee,poop, or gas in your pants.)  Love Billie

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I guess that title should have been depressed on CML.  Thanks Billie and Henn.  I guess I thought I had this handled or some miss projected take on what is happening to me.  I too already had mild anxiety issues so now I guess this is my anxiety on CML/Gleevec.  I've been talking to myself a lot trying to get back on track and my husband, son and daughter have been great as well.  All I can do is ride this crazy train, exercise as much control as I can and see where I end up.  

 

I guess it really hasn't sunken in or should I say I guess it is starting to sink in.  

 

Thank you all for being here...  You make me smile!            

 

Love and blessings

 

MDJ

[Gail's]

For me, I feel my low mood is from the bone deep fatigue I have. Get tears sometimes when I'm aware of how little I can do without feeling exhausted. A grief process for me, and some days hard to believe it will get better. I have a comfy, quiet home and have lots of very supportive friends and family. So I'm just letting my needs be known and am very grateful for their love and real help. I have been severely clinically depressed in the past, but this feeling is different. Hang in there and come back with updates.

[Billie Murawski]

Hi MDJ,

 If that's your eye on Gleevac it's not even noticible. I looked like a hungover raccoon for 3 years. I was puffed up from my eyebrows down and it was pure white I would put make-up on but it didn't help much nothing seemed to cover it. I see pictures from that time and I still can't believe how bad they were.

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Hi there Gail.   Yep I think I am realizing that I can only handle one event a day.  My husband and children are great my mind is a mess.  I am getting better though I am learning to ask for extra support when I feel I need it.  Thanks for the help!  If I could shut myself in forever I probably would so it is a good thing I have such wonderful people in my life and my 84 year old mother to call me twice a day and call me baby girl.

 

Billie that is my eye on my  birthday December 17, 2014 just weeks prior to my dx.  My eyes are actually hanging in pretty good.  They are puffy in the morning but they go down through out the day, at least that's what I see.  I might need for you to prove to me that you have the eye effect that you say you do.  LOL

 

You all are wonderful thanks for not letting me stay under my rock.

 

MDJ

[JPD]

1) exercise

2) relaxation/meditation

3) prozac

 

Repeat after me:

 

Take the meds, live your life

 

And when I first got my dx (and from time to time since) I just go in front of the mirror and tell myself:

 

 

The drugs are working, the cancer is dying, I will live to see a cure

The drugs are working, the cancer is dying, I will live to see a cure

The drugs are working, the cancer is dying, I will live to see a cure

[Antilogical]

When I started on Gleevec, I had weekly blood tests for a while so my hem/onc could "tune" my dosage immediately if needed.  I still remember the first test:  The nurse came out to share the results, and with a big grin on her face said "The Gleevec is working!".  What a relief!  I relive that moment when I need a mental boost.

[AllTheseYears]

Yep, exhaustion, sadness (depression?) and anxiety are part of the journey, although often hard to accept.  I find rest and walking a great help.  Others might not understand, but trust me, we do )

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Everything bothers me mentally and physically x 2000 things I can't change haunt me daily I feel like crap and just want to be a hermit. I want to crawl under a rock ASAP!

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I pray a lot I just feel stuck!

[Jamie2015]

I pray a lot I just feel stuck!

I am definitely with you on this one. My nightly prayers/talks with God have turned into many talks throughout the day since being diagnosed in January! Hard to keep my mind off being sick when my whole body hurts.,,all the time but I REFUSE to let this steal my happiness. I will deal with these bad days and look forward to the good.

Better days are in our future

Healing is happening my friend.

[PhilB]

MDJ trust us, it WILL get better.  I second JPD on exercise and AllTheYears on walking.  Not only does the endorphin release of exercise and fresh air help to lift your mood, but getting as fit as you can is the best way to combat the fatigue that so many of us suffer from the meds.  It's much easier to keep going through the fatigue if you're fit.

I pretty much went to pieces mentally early on, not helped by being a natural pessimist married to a natural optimist.  The worst thing is that 6 years into a deep response she now gets to say 'I told you so!'

[Dom]

I've been on Gleevec for a year now, and I've been through a host of symptoms, all of which have mostly disappeared.  I say mostly, because what symptoms I now have may be coming from the other drugs I take for BP and Cholesterol.  And I take a lot.  

 

Here's the way I see it:  There is one symptom I'm happy about -- life.  Not very long ago, this disease meant death.  Now, thanks to Brian Drucker, it's game over for CML.  The disease has been defeated.  We win.  

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So I saw my onc today.  I think because I started crying he is trying take some of the pressure off and only have me come every two weeks.  I don't have to wear a mask any longer and I can go to the gym which I was really missing and it has been too cold and snowy to walk outside.  All of that should help a lot.  I am extra sensitive now so even life as a symptom doesn't pump me up right now.  I know I am in a slump and will come out of it I just can't give up.  It isn't just one thing it is everything and anything.  I have a lot of faith so I know I will be ok it just feels so hard right now.  

 

My husband didn't want me to go to the gym because I have been so tired had to get him to understand it will help me mentally and physically to get back to what feels like my life to me.  Anyway that is all for now I'm trying and that is all I have.    

[Billie Murawski]

MDJ trust us, it WILL get better.  I second JPD on exercise and AllTheYears on walking.  Not only does the endorphin release of exercise and fresh air help to lift your mood, but getting as fit as you can is the best way to combat the fatigue that so many of us suffer from the meds.  It's much easier to keep going through the fatigue if you're fit.

I pretty much went to pieces mentally early on, not helped by being a natural pessimist married to a natural optimist.  The worst thing is that 6 years into a deep response she now gets to say 'I told you so!'

She sounds like one special lady, I've always wanted to say that but so far I haven't been in a position to say I told you so but I will I'll get him one of these days........

[Billie Murawski]

Hi MDJ,

 You are doing everything right now especially going to the gym and just do some light exercises which I don't think are that important right now but being around other people who don't have anything to do with cml or work. This is a bad time for all of us pretty soon you'll be able to take long deep breaths outside and not have your lungs freeze.