For the most part (I was just dx 11-14-11), I totally forget I have leukemia. I take my pills, I go on with my life and I feel fine. Then there are times I think "OMG I HAVE CANCER!" and I break down and sob. I am doing very well on the Tasigna (MMR and 3 log reduction after 4 months) but I am so scared I'll lose my response or have to switch to a drug with more side effects. I barely have any on Tasigna. How do you all deal with the anxiety and "what if's"? I keep thinking "Omg what if I lose all response and need a bone marrow transplant some day?" or "What if I don't make it for more than 5 years", "What if this is my last Easter" etc. I've also started to worry about any little pain or bump. I was never a hypochondriac and I feel like I'm becoming one. My left side hurts by my shoulder, through my neck down a little towards my breast. Chances are it's a pulled muscle but I've already got myself diagnosed with breast cancer. Sigh... I just try to stay calm and for the most part I AM but this just sucks.
I try not to complain to others in my life because I truly AM lucky. There are a lot of people worse off than me and the fact I can take a pill, live a normal life and not have to be in a hospital is reason to celebrate in itself. but it's still so hard to stay positive all the time. I think I may feel better once I go to see Dr. Talpaz at U of M. That is, if he accepts me as a patient. I made an appt. but they have to call me back after he reviews my records.
Any words of advice?