As I sit in the hospital, laying there (on fall risk), with the tv off, I think about all the great memories I've had. My CML is getting more aggressive as time goes on. I was supposed to start chemo last Tuesday, but the high dose of Sprycel really took a toll on me. I am feeling better since I got admitted on Tuesday. I will probably start chemo within the next few days. Then I will have to have another BMT. This time there is only a 20% chance that I can achieve remission and if not I will only have a matter of months left? So just like that? I do all this fighting... and this cancer is going to take over my body at 27 years young. That's not fair. As soon as life was getting really good... this happens!
Yesterday, I had to sit my beautiful girlfriend, Arielle, down (who I was planning on proposing to soon) and wanted to prepare her for the best case and the worst case. She has been so supportive through out this whole process talking to doctors, filling out massive loads of paper work, keeping all 100+ family members and friends informed. She has always been so hopeful and optimistic. We had such great plans for us. I would be disappointed if I wasn't able to share them with her.
Even though yesterday was full of tears, today I will continue to fight. I will be in that 20%. I will be that 1 in 6 people who achieve remission through this. I will never stop fighting for my future and for Arielle. This is not it.
Is there anybody out there who's CML turned aggressive quickly? Doctors say I also have AML in my lympnodes underneath my armpits. Anybody who has had to have a second BMT? I would really appreciate any success stories to motivate me to keep fighting (because as I'm sure you know, some days are just tough and draining).
Posting this in CML and SCT.
Thanks in advance for all the support,