I am so sad to hear you are suffering. BTW, you can drink while taking a TKI. It is never good to overdo it with alcohol at any time (of course, this is the mother in me saying this), but it is not "off limits" (you may want to take note that drinking is empty calories and can make you fat). As TKIs are relatively new on the drug scene, since it is processed through the liver (like alcohol is), it is not really known if it will cause damage to your organs in the long term--but so far, so good for most) It is not trivial to focus on drinking. It is a right of passage for most young folks at college. And one young person on the LLS board put it very well when she said that CML takes away many of the choices we once thought we had. And that is probably why you are focusing on the drinking thing and why the thought of dating seems so overwhelming. There is no reason to think you will never find someone to love you. I can understand how it appears to be a huge hurdle. And most people your age do not have to deal with this. It is grossly unfair, it sucks. I hate that you have to think about this and deal with it. But, there is good reason to believe that CML is becoming a very manageable health condition. It sure looks that way so far. Most people do very well on the drugs. Many can even go off them temporarily to have healthy babies. Anyone who has a serious health issue at a young age, (for example, diabetes, CML, congenital heart disease, cystic fibrosis, etc.--all that can shorten your life and/or make your life more difficult), has these issues to deal with. It shouldn't be like this. But it does not mean you will never find a wonderful person who will love you for all the right reasons. I send a wish out into the universe for you that you will. BTW, dating was never easy for me and I didn't have to deal with CML in my teens. I didn't marry until I was close to 40! I make a bet you will be involved in a serious and loving relationship way before I!
After a while, you will get used to having CML. I know it seems like it won't ever happen. But it does. Life will go on for you and probably for a long, long, long, time until the gray hairs start to sprout and your boobs start to sag. Life should go back to very close to normal, but it take time to get over the terror of diagnosis and having mortality brought to the front burner instead of sitting way back on the stove (sorry, corney way to say that). It is normal to feel the way you do after such a devastating diagnosis. It will help if you have someone you can trust to talk to. Please continue to write. There are many kind, caring and smart people on this board that will support you. There are also other young people on this board and on other LLS boards who have CML. (We are not all old ---technically, I could be your mother, but a young and hip one---of course).
I wish you peace and very soon. I wish you a quick recovery and good health and an excellent future.
P.S. Go to Italy and enjoy the wine. Don't let the CML hold back the joy you can create for yourself in this life .