29 replies to this topic

[Marnie]

Pam. . .

To lighten the mood a bit. . here's an e-mail that I got from a friend today.  I'll try to recap the series of e-mails and make it short.

We have friends moving from Kansas to CO and they sent out a group e-mail letting people know that they could use some help unloading this evening, and offered FREE BEER to anyone who could help.  My husband (who loves his beer) responded that he would sell his first child for a beer.  I responded by saying I didn't realize that he had a first child and if he did how much would he sell it for. . .hopefully enough to buy my Ducati.  Another friend responded and then said that since she was e-mailing from work, she probably shouldn't be talking about selling children or drugs.  I realized that she assumed the Ducati was my medication.  So I quickly set her straight by letting her know that Ducati was not an expensive medication, but a very expensive (and sexy) motorcycle!  Now if I could just take all that money that my insurance company spends on Sprycel I could have any number of Ducatis!!  Anyway. . .I got a good chuckle out of the e-mail.  Sorry that your relative is an insensitive moron. 

Marnie

[pammartin]

Damn, there was a time when free beer was offered I would have been buying a plane ticket.  these days I would probably be laying on the couch they were trying to haul in.  thanks for the laugh, the relative is a turd, but your description has more class. 

[pammartin]

I keep going over in my head that you want Ron to take you to the shooting range........it just isn't gonna happen.  The man is playing it safe.

[Pin]

Pam, I am astounded at what some people will say! You are dealing with this very graciously I must say.

I guess our type of leukaemia and the treatment can be a complicated thing to understand, some people simply just don't get it - but to accuse you of lying because of her own lack of understanding (and all the other "qualified" people she confirmed her opinion with - ha, what a joke!) is pretty nasty. Sometimes I get confused about my level of sickness. Am I sick or aren't I? Do I have leukaemia anymore or don't I? Yes, but no, but yes.

You were very sick and needed to be isolated for your own safety, but now your counts have recovered. Why is that so hard to understand? Also, people who have lower counts than ours don't get to live in a quarantine unit

[Pin]

Lucky - you continue to amaze and inspire me with your (and your lovely wife's) insight into human behaviour - thank you

[pammartin]

Pin,

She has two young girls, probably inside just jealous that I was able to hide from the world for a bit, and medically approved, LOL  it isn't often we get a doctors excuse to stay away from people.  I wasn't going to post the mess on here, but I am really glad I did.  If others have a similar problem with family and/or friends, as Susan wrote, they know they are not alone.  Our disease is confusing, isn't it?  And because it is so weird, we never know how we are going to feel, let alone how we can present ourselves to the outside world.  It is hard to see or understand how and what is going for others.  I keep going back to the idea if her life was so grand, there would not be so many negative thoughts for anyone or anything, no matter what they are.  Life goes on, and although I made some attempts to stop communication there is mail, so if something arrives, I will return to sender unopened.  At 30 something (her age) I would have fought till there were no words left, but at nearly 50, it just isn't worth the effort.  I have to do some things in life, fighting is not one of them.  Thanks for checking in, everyone's support has really helped me work through this situations quite a bit faster than I would have alone.

Have a great day!

Pam

[pammartin]

Lucky,

Ditto to what Pin said, to your wife and yourself.  Thanks

[Antilogical]

Those of us who suffer from CML - or any disease, for that matter - have more incentive to do exhaustive research and get the facts straight than the "casual observer".  That said, I still think it's just plain thoughtless for people to be dismissive of what we are going through.

Is rudeness a chronic condition?

[CDW]

Pam,

Most of what i think has already been said; however, as a 30-something i recognise I had little empathy for those people with serious diseases. I was very A type and didn't have time for illness. Wow, has CML changed my outlook! I have a hell of a lot more compassion for human beings, the type of compassion and maturity that might not have developed until much later in life. The lady in question likely has not had to overcome a significant difficulty to be able to understand the challenges people face in every day life. Over time and as she sees more adversity among her peer group (and maybe even herself) will she come to realize the error of her ways. Or maybe she won't, as some people can simply be mean until their final day. Some people decide to invest so much of their time interfering in others' lives because they wish to feel an elevated sense of importance or superiority in their own life - without the compassion gained through adversity this will likely continue.

The whole situation reminds me of a quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen"

I truly hope the lady in question one day has the maturity and compassion to look back and realize the error of her ways.

Best wishes

Chris