4 replies to this topic

[janne]

Content removed. Question answered.

[pammartin]

Hi Janne,

I think frustration is the word of the day in your household.  I would be annoyed if my biological son were doing those things.  It is a shame you are not receiving the respect and consideration you deserve, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.  I am assuming the visit is short term, and perhaps there are many issues with your husband and son's relationship from past history, guilt, absence, and others, that stop your husband from talking to the boy, but hopefully, everyone will return to their respective places shortly and your world can return to some form of normality (and you get your house and bed back!)

[pamsouth]

Janne, 

I have family issues too, but not the same as yours, a bit different, but none then less they can take me down if I let it.

I have learned other ways to make me feel good, especially at the Holidays. I will be 64 years old so it has taken me awhile to step out of my corner of the world and learn some new ways to coop.

I do meditate almost daily, and when really down, I say Lord help me to find someone to bless with joy.  Sure enough the Lord will send someone my way, or perhaps I just get recreative I find something nice to do for someone else in need,  in return I get blessed.  I often quote "Take my pain, Lord Jesus I give it up to YOU and pray YOU of YOUR mercy.  Join it (my pain, or whoever's pain) with YOUR suffering. Make me new.  Give it as help and hope for .....  This is called transferring your pain.

As far as the disrespectful young man and husband not honoring his wife, I would seek out a clergy or support group or counselor to help you deal with that.  The last thing you need in your life is sleep depravation. 

As far as the trip, true that would be a big disappointment, but for me, I would find someway while they are gone to have the time of my life.  I do it all the time, especially at the holidays, keeps me from being blue.   Whatever you do, don't turn on yourself, and pick up the negative energy around you. There is positive energy out there, go find what works for you.  Hard to learn to ways and new thinking.

Pray, Pray, Pray, Listen, Listen, Listen, be good to yourself and find the support you need, even outside this discussion board. Of course it is easy to share on this discussion board as we all understand these battles.  However I am careful who I share certain things with that are really private, as the gossip can run and slap you back in the face.  Pick a couple of people or clergy or someone you can trust with your private intimate feeling.

Pam South

[janne]

Thank you BOTH Pams for your thoughtfulness in replying. I hope I get to sleep tonight and awaken with more understanding and wisdom for the situation. God Bless You !

[Judy2]

Hi Janne. I think it can be a little tricky with steps, I have 3 step-brothers, and sometimes dealing with steps can be like walking on eggshells. Having a blended family isn't exactly like The Brady Bunch, I know. I don't think you should be cancelled out of the holiday plans, maybe at some point, after the holidays you could discuss that with your husband. In the meantime, take good care of yourself, rest, try to relax and write back and let us know how you are doing.

Virtual Hugs,

Judy