Before I share my latest breakdown, I will admit to reading every post I can find concerning swollen lymph nodes, previous situations with fellow members, and everyone's advice, including the links Trey provided to people over the years. Yeah, the intelligent side of me says having CML and lymphoma together just usually doesn't happen, I believe one person compared it to walking outside and getting hit with a meteor, but the human side of me is trying very hard not to constantly feel my neck for more swellings and go into that 'what if' mode.
I know right now, so early in the diagnosis, it is hard to be thinking clearly, it is difficult to not relate everything that happens to a horrible disease, and to keep calm when you discover something is the best way to handle it, but........then the human kicks in and I am a mess.
I do have oncologist appointment this Friday, but three swellings on the neck send me into a panic mode so serious sometimes I swear I have trouble breathing. I will admit to this being a long term fear, I watched my dad die from lymphoma 26 years ago, of course treatment has changed, as well as prognosis.
Again, intelligent thinking is where I need to be, but how in the heck do I get there, much less stay there, when it seems I find another possible concern. If I would have had swollen lymphs over the years, I would be feeling better, but this is the first time this has happened, of course.
Breathe, all I really have to do is breathe, but sometimes it is pretty hard to do even that. thanks for reading.